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I settled into my seat and started to take in the carriage around me. Behind me, a sleeping woman, in front, a young pregnant woman, opposite her, an old man, behind him, a few noisy twenty-somethings. The other side of the carriage next to them, a young man, behind him, a young couple clearly in love from looking at their faces, then, beside me, a young uni student and an old woman. Doing this would be difficult, but I’d manage to somehow. I put my laptop on the empty seat beside me and took off my jacket, a denim one and so it hardly moved when I placed it over my legs. I put my hand into the right hand pocket of my jeans, the one with the hole, and fiddled with it until I could fit most of the first half of my forearm through it. I pulled my arm out for a little while first since the train hadn’t moved yet, and I planned on letting us get underway first. The train set off and I could feel the vibrations of the train coming through the seats. I moved myself a little so I could feel. ?I think this should clear things up, honey. Oh no, don’t stand up, let me bring them to you.? Her tone had turned icy. I suddenly felt very helpless in my current predicament on my hands and knees.She strode past me, to head back to the bathroom behind us, dropping the stack of papers a few feet in front of me as she walked, not even looking at me as she did it.I gingerly crawled forward to see what she was talking about. Oh my, was I in for a surprise! The top page was an email I had written to a girl I’d met on Craigs List a few months back detailing how hot I thought a particular encounter was. I was also in for a very painful surprise, as I reflexively tried to stand and turn around to explain. The pain from was explosive as my scrotum was cruelly yanked by the unwielding humbler and the ?BUT? that was coming out of my mouth turned into an ?ARRRRRR? and I rolled over on my side in pain, and pulled my knees in the fetal position.?I don’t want to hear your lame.
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